What a moron.

CINCINNATI — Maybe receiver Chad Johnson can go by the name that his head coach hates.

The Cincinnati Bengals receiver has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco in Broward County, Fla., a switch that became official this week. Johnson, who lives in Miami, didn’t return a message left on his cell phone Friday night.

Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker — a reference in Spanish to his No. 85 — and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis — who dislikes Johnson’s attention-getting stunts — referred to the receiver as “Ocho Psycho.”

The Tennessee Valley Vipers, Huntsville’s arena football team, went on the road to Spokane, WA as heavy underdogs and won the championship game in overtime.  Congrats!

Some reporters and people associated with the US women’s gymnastic team are suggesting that members of China’s team are under the legal age of 16.  I thought the same thing.  China, however, says the girls have valid passports showing they are or will be 16 this year.  But hey, it’s not like China would fake anything to make these Olympics appear more favorable for them.

The wife and I attended our first Tennessee Valley Vipers arena football game tonight.  Yes, I am fortunate enough to be married to a lovely lady who is passionate about football.  Be jealous.  We weren’t going to go since I was a bit under the weather today, but date opportunities are few and far between so I cowboyed up.  We went and had a great time.

The Vipers were playing the Florida Firecats in their first game of the playoffs.  Although the game didn’t start out very well for the home team - they went down two touchdowns after a pair of turnovers - they turned it around to soundly defeat the Firecats.  The Vipers effectively won by three touchdowns, although they gave up a garbage score on the last play to make the game appear closer than it was.

My wife noticed before the game that one of the visitors who came out for the coin flip refused to shake hands when the Viper players extended theirs.  We marveled at what a jerk he was.  We made a note of his number (#5) and saw that the fat fellow was playing on the offensive line.  It should come as no surprise that he was talking a lot of trash during the game.  Midway through the fourth quarter the Firecats, down by three scores, were driving in what was likely their last chance to get back in the game.  On second and short from near the Viper’s endzone one of the defensive linemen absolutely blew up #5 on the Firecats, ran right over the top of him, and sacked the quarterback.  It was the first of three straight sacks that sealed the game.  I thought it was quite appropriate to see that jerk laying on his backside while his quarterback was getting creamed.

I have to mention the halftime entertainment, which was provided by the Madison Mission church.  Their youth has a drum line that was fantastic.  They definitely got a great response from the crowd and gave the game the infectious feel of a high school or college game with their periodic brief routines between plays.

All in all it was a great experience, one that I look forward to repeating.  If you like football and live in the area then I would highly recommend trying to make it out to a Vipers game.

My favorite IndyCar driver Danica Patrick placed 3rd in the Firestone Indy 200 at Nashville Superspeedway Saturday (behind Winner Scott Dixon and 2nd place Dario Franchitti).  Patrick is my favorite driver not only because she’s a good driver, or because she looks good in a swimsuit, but also because she seems like a genuinely nice person. 

My niece attended the race, and was excited that she got to meet Danica. Danica  was very good to an eight year old: talking with her, signing her race shirt, and letting her sit in Patrick’s IndyCar.  She went out of her way to spend time with a young girl and fellow race enthusiast, and for this, I am grateful.

From PA:

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs minor league baseball team this afternoon announced it is replacing the winning entry in its “Name the Mascot” contest from PorkChop to Ferrous.

The team said it switched the name when it was brought to its attention that the name PorkChop could potentially be offensive to members of the community.

IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes said he received a handful of e-mails and phone calls last night from people in the Latino community who called the name derogatory.

I happened to be living just north of Aberdeen, MD when Cal Ripkin, Jr. (the Iron Man) started a single A Oriole’s affiliate there aptly named the IronBirds.  They named their mascot Ferrous, which, being a mechanical engineer and loosely familiar with metallurgy, I found strangely amusing.  I don’t know if the IronBirds were the first team with a mascot named Ferrous, but I do know that the IronPigs are wholly unoriginal for copying them.  Plus they have noodles for spines for changing their mascot name because it o-f-f-e-n-d-e-d someone.  I’ve had enough of people being offended.  Get over it.

We live in a jaded society and it is an all too common occurence to see celebrities and sports stars make what regular people consider to be foolish personal decisions.  We have come to expect them to cause their lives to implode.  It is refreshing, though, to read about one of those people taking advantage of their accumulated wealth and doing the right thing.  Yesterday Derek Fisher of the NBA’s Utah Jazz proved to be a stand up family man.

The Utah Jazz agreed to release guard Derek Fisher from his contract Monday so he can concentrate on finding the best care for his 11-month-old daughter, who has cancer in her left eye.

Fisher said he wants to live in one of the six or seven cities being considered for Tatum’s care.

He didn’t rule out playing for another NBA team but emphasized that his daughter’s health is his No. 1 priority.

“Life for me outweighs the game of basketball,” Fisher told reporters after flying from New York to meet with Jazz owner Larry H. Miller and other team executives.

“When it comes to decisions related to them,” he said of his family, “I do what’s best.”

In May, his daughter was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, a cancerous tumor in her left eye. The danger is that it could spread to her brain or the rest of her body.

Fisher at times fought exhaustion trying to balance basketball and his daughter’s welfare. He spent a day at a New York hospital in May, then flew to Utah for a Western Conference semifinal game against Golden State.

Only 350 cases of retinoblastoma are diagnosed each year in North America, according to Dr. A. Linn Murphree, director of the retinoblastoma program at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, who is not involved in the Fisher case.

In most cases, patients lose the eye rather than undergo chemotherapy, but there are exceptions.

I applaud Mr. Fisher for putting his family first and I wish his daughter and his entire family the best of luck during their trying times.

What a lousy Super Bowl.  Lots of turnovers.  Prince at halftime.  Rex Grossman.

This was one of the most liberating Super Bowls for me on one front.  I swam against the stream and actually avoided nearly all commercials (I bought my TiVo for a reason).  I’ll admit that I did see two, though.  My wife caught a glimpse of a gorilla and made us watch it, much to my chagrin.  I’ve had enough of monkey commercials.  On the other one I happened to see the Go Daddy logo as I was fast forwarding, and their commercials are usually worth a look so I watched it.  Not bad, but they’ve done better.

I guess I’m not going to be able to kick around Peyton Manning as the Dan Marino of our generation now.

Cal Ripken, Jr. was elected to the MLB Hall of Fame by 98.5% of the voters - the third highest percentage.  I’m not a big baseball fan, but I’m a big Ripken fan.  It’s all about the work ethic.  I would welcome an explanation from any of the eight idiots who did not vote for him.

I think now is the appropriate time for a little gloating.