Tampa tried to host the Olympics in 2012.  They failed.  The man who chaired their commission to secure the bid said that Birmingham has “as much chance as an ice cube in Tampa.”  I think he’s being a bit polite.

The very notion of hosting the Olympics in Birmingham - an idea floated by none other than mayor Larry Langford - is so absurd that even responding to it gives it more justification than it deserves.  Dan at Daily Dixie took a stab at addressing some of the reasons the Olympics wouldn’t be hosted in The Ham, but the actual list is much longer than ten reasons.

Just think about it.  Jefferson County could become the largest municipal bankruptcy in the country.  Ever.  Larry Langford is under investigation by the SEC.  The “ice cube in Tampa’ article lists more reasons.  Birmingham would need to more than double its number of hotel rooms.  The city “must guarantee the financial success of the games.”  See the previous bankruptcy and SEC investigation points.  The article states that there must be cooperation between city, county, and state governments.  Do I even need to address that one?

It also costs a lot to host the games.

More than $15 billion was spent on the Athens games in 2004, driving Greece into debt. And China has spent a record $42 billion on this year’s games, The Wall Street Journal reported last week.

$42 billion!  Isn’t that just about what the Huntsville-Madison County Metro Jail will cost by the time they finish it?

Hey, I say go for it.  I don’t live in Birmingham, so my tax dollars won’t be wasted.  I think it will be amusing to watch them try.  Think about the proverbial dog chasing the car.  What do you do when you catch it?  Worst case scenario is that they actually win and screw up the Olympics for the entire world.

From across the pond:

Toddlers who say “yuck” when given flavorful foreign food may be exhibiting racist behavior, a British government-sponsored organization says.

The London-based National Children’s Bureau released a 366-page guide counseling adults on recognizing racist behavior in young children, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The guide, titled Young Children and Racial Justice, warns adults that babies must also be included in the effort to eliminate racism because they have the ability to “recognize different people in their lives.”

The bureau says to be aware of children who “react negatively to a culinary tradition other than their own by saying ‘yuck’.”

Words cannot describe how stupid this is.  I’m just glad my tax dollars aren’t supporting such foolishness.

That is the only logical conclusion from the headline of a Gallup study: Majority of Americans Support Price Controls on Gas.

If you are one of the 53% of Americans who favor price controls on gas (or anything else) then you are both an idiot and a danger to our economy.  Please don’t vote for anything other than American Idol contestants.

20% of individuals actually favor gas rationing!  I’m curious what the other 30% who think price controls are nifty expect would happen if the price controls were put into effect.

From AL.com:

Huntsville police say a woman was over the legal limit for alcohol when she crashed her car into a creek on the city’s west side Thursday night. Motorists stopped to pull the woman and a child out of the burning vehicle.

…

[Melissa] Ford’s vehicle caught fire after crashing into the creek, reports said, and passersby stopped to pull her and 2-year-old Isabelle Young from inside. Both were rushed to Huntsville Hospital with injuries.

Police say Ford blew a .10 on a breath alcohol test after the accident. That is over the legal limit in Alabama of .08. Charges are expected after she is released from the hospital.

Stupid.  Just stupid.

Get a load of this absurdity in Massachusetts…

To soothe the bruised egos of educators and children in lackluster schools, Massachusetts officials are now pushing for kinder, gentler euphemisms for failure.

more stories like thisInstead of calling these schools “underperforming,” the Board of Education is considering labeling them as “Commonwealth priority,” to avoid poisoning teacher and student morale.

Schools in the direst straits, now known as “chronically underperforming,” would get the more urgent but still vague label of “priority one.”

Amazingly, the only student on the board is the sole member with a lick of common sense.

Zachary Tsetsos, a senior at Oxford High School and the only student on the board, said he finds the debate frivolous.

“Why are we spending time on this?,” said the 17-year-old. “I don’t want to tiptoe around the issue. I’m not concerned about what title we give these schools. Let’s work on fixing them.”

Where my wife taught in Maryland they didn’t give “F’s” to kids who failed; they gave them “E’s.”  I’ve heard of teachers who spurn red ink in favor of green because they are afraid copious red ink will hurt the feelings of dummies intellectually challenged pupils.  Idiot used to be a medically accepted term to describe a person who suffered from “profound mental retardation.”

Face it, some words acquire negative connotations in the general vernacular over time due to what the word describes.  Failure itself isn’t a bad word, but some view it as bad because no one wants to be labeled a failure because they’ve seen all the losers who have borne that unfortunate descriptor.  But whether you’re called a failure or a special project or a Munson eventually the name you are given will come to represent what you really are: a loser.  We can endlessly cycle through words or ink colors, but the underlying facts remain.  Those schools in Massachusetts still suck and kids who get E’s or F’s are still going to be serving up fries for a living.

Just in case anyone is wondering, it is not a good idea to run your cell phone through both the washer and dryer.  At least not if you want it to continue working.  The flash on the camera still works - and by works I mean it just turns on and stays on when I put the battery in.

Fortunately I’m due for a new phone.  I just wished I hadn’t wasted $20 on a new battery last week to prolong the useful life of my now cleaner, but inoperable, one.

Attorney: Client wasn’t serious about murder-for-hire

A Montgomery woman was not serious when she offered to pay a friend $30,000 to kill her ex-husband last month, according to her attorney.

Great defense.  If I had a nickel for every time someone jokingly asked me to murder their spouse for $30,000…