“Got nothin’ but a cheezburger”
Earlier this week three University of Tennessee freshman football players were arrested for armed robbery. Awesome story on many fronts.
First of all, how damn stupid are the football players? They allegedly tried to rob a trio of local cosmopolitans who were driving a 1998 Hyundai Elantra. Good target. Most people driving 98 Elantras keep wads of cash on them. The suspects used a pellet gun as their weapon. They were also wearing black clothes emblazoned with UT logos. Their arrest photos will be great material for recruiting brochures. The best part? The getaway car was a Prius. Amazing.
One of the would be robbers, Nu’Keese Richardson, was a highly sought after recruit. Tennessee coach Lane Kiffen made a big deal about stealing Nu’Keese from Florida coach Urban Meyer. Kiffen went so far as to put up a billboard in Florida boasting about UT’s increased presence in the area.
And now for the victims. What a class act these guys are. Here’s a couple of videos that let you know exactly what we’re dealing with (here and here). Surprisingly, the occupants of the 98 Elantra didn’t have any money. Or as they put it, “Ain’t got nothin’ but a cheezburger.”
At the risk of stereotyping, was it really necessary for the reporters to inform us that the two victims are UT fans? Look at them. Listen to them. Of course they’re Tennessee fans. And in keeping with the lofty tradition of UT fans the upstanding young men claim they no longer want to press charges. In fact, they the alleged criminal should still be allowed to play football!
Go Rocky Top!
What a great write up on these events. Just starting to follow you. I am already friends with dale Jackson! Keep up the good work
Amateur football is cute. Do they still have those funny stripey balls and goal posts adapted to special needs kickers?
Lemme guess, Rev. Bob is a soccer fan?
You had to ask that?
dcm
They proved the old adage of why UT wears orange.
They can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday and then to work the rest of the week when they’re picking up garbage at the roadside.
Sorry, Johnny Reb. born and raised in Da Burgh.
Jonathan, that was awesome. Did you guys see the interview with the guy the TENN. players tried to rob? The reporter asked something to the effect of, “What should happen to them now?” or something like that, and the victim replied that they should still be able to play, because that’s his team and he loves his team.
He is proud to be represented by some thugs who shoved a gun in his face and tried to take his posessions, this is hilarious, and it says more about the University of Tennessee than any football game ever will.
As someone who was born and raised in Chattanooga, about all I can say in defense of this guy Zickefoose (one of the intended robbery victims) is that he must be a product of the dumbing down of students in a government run educational system if he even went to school at all. Public schools in Tennessee, thank goodness, provided a better education for students when I grew up there than they seem to in Tennessee, or almost anywhere, today.
In defense of my native state, I would note that according to Brian’s second link all three football players came from other states.
My favorite quote from Brian’s first link is: “I just know how it is, a lot of people do stupid stuff.” Zickefoose, one of the intended victims, should know because he seems to be one of those people who say and “do stupid stuff”.
All in all, this is a rather amusing post.
Nu’Keese?