Oh, those silly Norks

I happened to notice a particular link on Walt’s sidebar: KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK (that’s North Korea).  I figured that Kim Jong Il’s state run news agency had to be pretty funny – and I was not disappointed.

It included some particularly silly and unimportant headlines:

• U.S. Reverend Arrives
• National Workshop on Agro-forestry Held
• New Mosaic Unveiled
• Okryu Restaurant Facelifted

Remember, this is their national media covering a restaurant renovation.

But then there was this story, which I knew would be sure to please: Frantic War Exercises and Aerial Espionage Committed against DPRK.

Pyongyang, July 31 (KCNA) — The U.S. imperialist aggression forces and the south Korean puppet army got more frantic in their war exercises in land, sea and air against the DPRK in July, according to military sources.

On July 21 and 22 they staged joint war exercises to cope with a chemical warfare. On July 24 and 25 the warmongers of the south Korean puppet army infiltrated “commandoes” into the operational theatres simulating the strategic and tactical targets of the north to frantically conduct observation, reconnaissance, assault, destruction and disturbance.

Between July 14 and 18 they conducted a war exercise codenamed Hwarang.

The south Korean puppets are now taking even middle school students and public servants to the special units belonging to the “Special Warfare Command” of the puppet army to force them to undergo “guerrilla” and airlifting exercises and drills for night warfare.

On July 16 the super-large nuclear-powered carrier “Reagan” of the U.S. imperialist aggressor forces entered Pusan Port to be followed by the sailing of guided missile destroyers and cruisers to waters off south Korea one after another. They were busy with naval operation maneuvers in coordinated operations with the puppet forces.

…

The south Korean puppet navy conducted a landing operation exercise and an emergency mobile operation maneuver between July 14 and 20. The “Special Warfare Command” of the south Korean puppet army had been busy staging a naval infiltration operation exercise for more than ten days since mid-July.

The U.S. imperialist aggression forces staged exercises to strike targets in the land in combination with a long-distance navigation drill of formations of B-52H.

The joint air war exercises of the U.S. imperialists and the south Korean puppet army which started on July 21 reached a very reckless phase.

…

The madcap war exercises and aerial espionage being perpetrated by the U.S. imperialists and the warmongers of the south Korean puppet army against the DPRK in the sky, land and sea of south Korea almost everyday glaringly reveal their scenario for aggression to stifle the DPRK by force of arms.

Imperialist aggressor.  Puppet army.  Madcap war exercises.  Warmongers.  Good stuff.

Hold on!  One can’t talk about puppet armies and Kim Jong Il without a reference to…

[Note: Crude language - you've been warned.]

The Norks also brag about the “Fatherland Liberation War.”

Pyongyang, July 31 (KCNA) — The British Association for the Study of Songun Policy and the British Group for the Study of the Juche Idea issued a joint statement on July 25 on the occasion of the 55th anniversary of the victory in the great Fatherland Liberation War.

The statement referred to the fact that the Korean People’s Army shattered to smithereens the myth of the “mightiness” of the U.S. imperialists under the leadership of President Kim Il Sung during the war.

The DPRK which was less than two years old defeated the U.S. imperialists, the chieftain of the international reaction and the boss of imperialism, it noted, stressing that it was a miracle unprecedented in history.

The great victory of the DPRK was a fruition of the Juche-oriented military idea and strategy and tactics of President Kim Il Sung and the heroism and the self-sacrificing spirit displayed by its army and people, it added.

The Switzerland-Korea Committee in a statement on July 23 noted that the historic victory won by the Korean people in the Fatherland Liberation War encouraged the people of the whole world in their struggle for freedom against imperialism and colonialism.

The danger of the second Korean war will continue to remain as long as the U.S. forces stay in south Korea, the statement said, urging the U.S. imperialist aggressor forces to quit south Korea.

They also are proud to have supposedly been on the cutting edge of women’s rights.  Note the headline on the article: Gratifying Law on Women.

Pyongyang, July 30 (KCNA) — A gratifying law on women never known in human history was promulgated in the DPRK on July 30, Juche 35 (1946).

It was “Law on Sex Equality in North Korea” which codified the liquidation of the hangovers of the mediaeval feudal customs and vices of infringement upon the women’s human rights and their complete emancipation from political, economic, cultural and domestic inequalities of the bygone days.

With the promulgation of the independent law legalizing equal rights of men and women, the Korean women came to exercise their role as masters of the state and society and enjoy an independent and creative life, freed from the feudal fetters that had harassed them for centuries.

On the 62nd anniversary of the law, the Korean people are looking back with deep emotion upon the immortal feats of the peerless great persons who spread in this land a new flower garden where the women are respected and valued.

President Kim Il Sung long ago attached great importance to their position and role, saying the women played an important part by rolling one of the two wheels of the revolution.

He visited everywhere people worked and watched women at work. Much pleased, he said it was good for the housewives to work in society because they became socialist builders, their living standard got higher with increased income and they could send their children to nurseries.

Under his loving care, women who had been maltreated as maidservants or babysitters in the past days could become dignified officials of the Party and the state, deputies to the Supreme People’s Assembly, heroines and women of distinguished services.

Law on Sex Equality is displaying ever greater vitality today under the wise guidance of General Secretary Kim Jong Il.

General Secretary Kim Jong Il has shown all loving care to the women, saying: We have yet to do a lot of work for the revolution, but we should not be sparing of anything in sprucing the women up.

The stories about the cosmetics “Pomhyanggi” (Spring Perfume), medicinal cream, cloth for chima and jogori (Korean skirt and jacket) and Cosmos hairpin are all legendary stories recounting his benevolent care for the women.

The Korean revolution will be ever victorious and the bright day of a great, prosperous and powerful nation of Juche will surely break as the large unit of woman revolutionaries who have grown under the loving care of the peerless great persons are vigorously turning one of the two wheels of Songun revolution.

The list goes on and on…