How to tell if you are gay:

  • You peer repeatedly into occupied stalls in the bathroom, allowing the occupants to see your eyes.

This one by itself probably doesn’t seal the deal, although it is highly questionable.  Eye contact in the bathroom is generally discouraged.  Eye contact through the crack in the stall is a crime in other parts of the world (or at least it should be).

  • You play footsies with the guy in the stall next to you.

I actually tested this one out in a controlled environment (i.e. no neighbors).  One of the buildings where I work has an older bathroom (circa. 1980’s) with narrow stalls.  If I was using the stall for its intended purpose it was physically impossible to inadvertently intrude into either of the stalls beside me.

  • You repeatedly insert your hand - the one with your wedding ring, of course - into the adjacent stall.

If you drop a piece of toilet paper on the floor of a busy airport bathroom standard operating procedure is to leave it.  If it goes into your neighbor’s stall you most certainly don’t try to fetch it.  There is NO EXCUSE for your hand to venture into another stall - occupied or not.

Translation: Larry Craig is gay (bisexual at least).

I am simply astonished (well not really) that some people are defending Craig, however meekly.  I happened to hear some of the right wing talkers like Mark Levin on the radio talking about how Craig didn’t actually do anything.  “Is it a crime to tap your feet?” they ask.  They reflexively lapse into Bill Clinton this and Barney Frank that.  If one must color things in terms of Democrats and Republicans the most apt analogy is Jim McGreevy.  At least McGreevy had the decency to admit he was gay after it was revealed that he was partaking in high risk, anonymous sex with other men.  I think we all know that if it had been a Democrat legislator in that airport then every single one of those radio hosts mincing words about Craig would be firing with both barrels.

Personally, I wouldn’t have a problem with Craig or any other elected official admitting to their sexual orientation and pursuing healthy relationships through more conventional means.  You know, like talking to someone and learning their name before consummating your relationship.  Some of the Craig defenders grasp onto the “he didn’t do anything” straw.  No, he did not engage in lewd activity.  But that was his intention, no doubt about it.  He knew many of the “signals” that the vice officer was trained to recognize and he was in a known bastion of public sexual deviancy.  If that had not been an officer of the law next to him he would have proceeded to do who knows what with the man whose name he didn’t know - and then fly home to join his wife in bed.

I wish Craig the best and I hope he can come to grips with his true self and either salvage what may be left of his marriage or seek out less risky relationships.

Slight aside…

To see a sample of a defense of Craig check out this comment left by one of my readers today:

I beleive [sic] tapping your foot in a rest room is not a crime. The officer who entrapped Craig should be fired immediately. No doubt Craig should have consulted his attorney first before entering a guilty plea. I heard the tape and read the police report. Fire that SOB in my opinion.

I heartily disagree that the officer should be fired for doing his job (and doing it well in my opinion).  And Craig wasn’t just tapping his foot.  He was rubbing it against another man’s foot.  In a bathroom.  I would love to hear someone tell me that has happened to them before because I had never heard of such behavior before this incident.

The commenter also said the following:

If you want a balanced view, watch Foxnews although they can lean left sometimes.

I can honestly say that I have NEVER heard anyone accuse FoxNews of leaning left.  Being ridiculously sensationalistic, yes.  Leaning left, no.  I believe that a few people have made vague references to them possibly being right of center.

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This entry was posted by Brian on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 8:25 pm and is filed under Ethics Scandals, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Please note the copyright policy.