Translating Paul Hubbert
Posted by BrianUnion boss Paul Hubbert purportedly sent out the following email to AEA members over the weekend.
Dangerous policies will cost Alabama educators their right to public service! Take Action! ETF, school funding, and programs in danger
Discriminatory attacks on educators, which threaten the future of public education in Alabama, has elevated to a new and dangerous level by Montgomery politicos.
Gov. Riley has proclaimed that he wants to prohibit any educator from serving in the Legislator and he says the first step is for the members of the State Board of Education to adopt policies to prohibit two-year college employees from serving in the Legislature, and make it almost impossible to serve in any public or appointed position locally. The targeted education legislators, Republicans and Democrats, are strong protectors of the Education Trust Fund, as well as being strong supporters of paying educators living wages, protecting PEEHIP benefits, guarding the integrity of the Teachers’ Retirement System, and improving classroom conditions for all students.
If the governor is eventually successful, over 100,000 teachers, support professionals, and administrators, will be denied the same rights that every other citizen has under the Alabama Constitution. Who will then serve? Those who are retired or independently wealthy? Those who work for big corporations?
Act now to protect your rights and future of public education. The critical vote by the State Board of Education is August 23.
Please contact you [sic] state school board member by email, fax, or letter.
Tell them not to adopt any polices that discriminate against educators or make educators as a disenfranchised class.
Now that sounds pretty extreme, right? Well, I thought I would help you out by translating his message from the frantic, union-eze language he used into something a bit more understandable. Here is what Hubbert actually meant:
Alert! Our rented legislators might be in jeopardy! Take Action!
As you well know, I’ve spent years and countless dollars of your earnings installing a large number of pliable legislators on Goat Hill. These men and women will do my bidding without asking questions and will gladly grant AEA members anything I request regardless of the negative impact on the state or the cost to taxpayers.
Alas, simply lavishing these lapdogs with campaign contributions has not been sufficient to ensure their full compliance. Fortunately we have been able to use the state’s two year college system to supplement the income of my specially chosen legislators. This method allows us to use Alabama taxpayer dollars to fund cushy, fake jobs for my acolytes. Even though they receive a paycheck from the state for fulfilling their legislative duties (and don’t forget they passed themselves a 62% pay raise this year) our slick little double dipping operation lets us further pad their pockets and turn them into de facto lobbyists for our cause.
I know you might be thinking that it isn’t fair that these legislators get paid more than many of you even though they essentially perform no work. Yes, Rep. Ken Guin was paid nearly $100,000 from two different schools for writing two or three page reports occasionally. And yes, he often gave both schools the same report. But that is the price of renting a legislator. Think of it as an investment in our own special interests paid for by the citizens of Alabama.
Unfortunately, the new chancellor of the two year college system, Bradley Byrne, is threatening our gravy train. He is essentially threatening to force all employees under his jurisdiction to serve one master - and that master won’t be me. This is unacceptable! I am the lord of Alabama! I don’t care if 60% of Alabamians agree with Byrne. If I am not able to manipulate and control my pet legislators then we face the very real possibility of having to justify our future compensation. We cannot allow independent minded legislators to serve in Montgomery!
Contact your state board member and tell them not to adopt any policies that would make me lose control of my puppets.
I just wanted to clear that up for you.
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August 10th, 2007 at 10:16 am
While canvassing neighborhoods last election, I spoke with a retired teacher who said that Bob Riley was going to take away her retirement. In fact, she screeched at me and would have slammed the door in my face if I hadn’t known her family for decades.
AFAIK, retired teachers still get a check, maybe I’ll go ask her to make sure
August 14th, 2007 at 12:53 am
HA HA HA… Hillarious translation of Paul Hubbert’s email to AEA members!
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